The orcs are back. They're up the trees with their chainsaws attacking the trees, destroying their beauty, laughing as the leaves of autumn are crushed underfoot and branches are minced to sawdust. I wish their chainsaws would turn on them and cut off their heads. I wish the trees would drop them from their branches and swallow them up in their roots. I wish the trees would fight back. I wish they would take their poor pollarded stumps and smash them like fists into the faces of every orc alive and keep smashing them until they were dead. I wish the spirit of the Whomping Willow would come alive in all the trees - but there's no such thing as an evil tree. Tree spirits are benevolent creatures and are more likely to fade away into sadness than fight back. The only way they can talk to us is through their magnificence and the Plane trees of London are particularly wonderful - huge and sprawling and shady in summer, with a spectacular autumnal display and impressive winter silhouettes. These are the trees that orcs love to destroy best of all. When they're not chopping down flowering trees and leaving the stumps to bleed, they're pollarding the planes and the limes, always when their leaves are about to turn. A huge lime in autumn is a stunning display of molten gold - but never seen in London when the orcs are out. The only tree an orc might like is a skinny new one with no branches and a 98% chance of dying in the summer-long drought that is central London. Nothing gives them greater joy than to plant a new tree and watch it die.
I wish the tree spirits would fight back. I wish every tree that had ever been cut down on every square, in every park, in every wood and in every forest around the world WOULD GROW BACK. This planet is near the end of a mass extinction event - millions of creatures are about to go extinct. And when they're dead, then it'll be the turn of the trees. When this planet is nothing but ash and landfill sites, I hope people will wake up and kill all the orcs. Starting with the ones in Bloomsbury.
I wish the tree spirits would fight back. I wish every tree that had ever been cut down on every square, in every park, in every wood and in every forest around the world WOULD GROW BACK. This planet is near the end of a mass extinction event - millions of creatures are about to go extinct. And when they're dead, then it'll be the turn of the trees. When this planet is nothing but ash and landfill sites, I hope people will wake up and kill all the orcs. Starting with the ones in Bloomsbury.
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