It’s the sort of day that reminds me to let go of my problems. One can’t just keep dwelling all the time. It’s exhausting. My jaw is clenched so hard that I’ve virtually dislocated it. Really time to let go, I think! So I’m keeping myself busy with immense amounts of DIY, a lot of it rescuing my flat from the destructive forces of evil workmen, but also the destructive forces of virulent mould and damp. I’m also doing a lot of sewing, something I used to do a lot of decades ago. I’m currently creating a vastly complex blind for a vastly complex window. It should be finished this year some time.
All this is about as far away from writing as anyone can get. You’d almost think I’d stopped entirely.
In the midst of all the drama of life, an idea that had been edging around the borders of a far off land suddenly popped up and went HELLO! Not another bloody idea, I thought. I get lots of ideas. Most of them are crap. The last time I had a “brilliant” idea it turned into That Difficult Novel which has been abandoned for over a year now. But I ran this new idea past my daughter – who has a zeitgeisty finger on every pulse – and she seems to think it has legs. I’ve begun making notes, currently on hold over the mad DIY days of the Easter break and am looking forward to getting back to it. I need to make a lot of preparations: while the story is straightforward, the universe it’s set in needs a lot of development. And I really want to get it right. So I’m using my trusty “Teach Yourself Screenwriting” text book (yes, really!) and once I’ve made every note I can think of, I will be doing a writing course and applying what I learn to this novel. A lot of work to be done!
Quite a large part of me would like to never write anything again. But then in the darkest despair, it becomes the one and only thing I can look forward to: not so much the writing but the creation of something new. More than that, if this proposed series of novels works, I will finally have found my true voice as a writer. It’s that good.